Today was not s great day in general. Back at work after a long weekend, doing my own job with two members of my team gone whilst covering a job I have little experience in and being expected to teach this job to a new person. Not to mention being the port of call for four other new staff member’s queries.
I know my job inside out and I’m good at it, but having so many people relying on you when you’re already feeling on edge does not a good day make.
So anxious morning, low motivation in the afternoon, half my lunch break spent hiding in the toilets left me feeling more than a little worn out. As I left work I could feel a gnawing emptiness eating at me, I text my boyfriend saying I may need some extra caring when I got back. Then missed my train and had to wait half an hour for the next.
As I was stood outside the station waiting for my train the aching in my chest became more physical than emotional. It kept building and building. I no longer felt sad or anxious or anything but I felt like I was about to have a heart attack. My chest felt physically cold and like my heart had been removed. Shortness of breath, dizziness and weakness came next until I was sure I was going to collapse right there.
I got to my train and could’ve sworn I was in the early stages of a stroke. I couldn’t think and my whole body refused to function. I felt like I was about to die. I thought I was going to collapse in Tesco buying cat food, and a hundred times on the walk home.
My boyfriend met me halfway and carried the shopping (bless his heart, I’d be lost without him). I was sweating but felt icy inside.
I feel better now after sitting down and eating but now feel bone tired. It was all the symptoms of an intense panic attack but I never once felt panicked or worried or anxious. It came on so quickly and strongly it was terrifying. I’ve never experienced it before.
I’m now in bed and feel like I could never get out again. Anyone else experienced this?